#31 Sex before marriage: Talking privately from (a Muslim) woman to (a non-Muslim) woman perspective - live from a market in Lombok, Indonesia

It was on a hot afternoon when I made a stop with my scooter in a small town in the north of Lombok. The ride was exhausting and I was tired. Since I was traveling alone, I decided to stroll through the local market in hopes of grabbing a chilled coconut. As I did so, I noticed a woman not taking her eyes off me, even following me slightly. I walked up to her and a conversation ensued.

Today I found it again in my archives and would like to share it with you.

Why?

Because it shows me how differently we are programmed, myself included. The short but intense conversation shows me how we are shaped by our culture, our environment and the people we love.

The young woman has never left Lombok. Lombok, a heavily Muslim Indonesian island, where in the north women are kidnapped from their families of origin by their future husbands when they reach puberty. They end up in a forced marriage, not knowing what awaits them there, including their first wedding night.

I was struck by the openness of the conversation. It shows how curious and searching the human spirit is. The idea of having sex unmarried, especially as a woman, is largely non-existent there. I may also mention that the woman reaches a social rank only through marriage, which also grants her rights. Only a marriage makes a woman a real woman there.

At the same time, it also shows how I too am mentally limited and trapped.

The interview was taken in the spring of 2021.

I hope you can take something away for yourself from today’s podcast episode. Feel free to share it, hit the subscribe button or leave a review. I look forward to hearing from you.

See you soon, Corinna-Rosa

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